Timothy and his brother Todd caught us by surprise as babies, having arrived 2 months early accompanied by the usual premature baby problems.  Being so early, we had not selected names for them with all of the other things going on.

Finally after several days of being pressured by the Hospital Admin to name our newborns, we pulled out a "Name Your Baby" book and started thumbing through the choices.  This was complicated emotionally by the fact we were told that one baby had a very small chance of surviving.

After much hand wringing and discussion with friends and family we came up with Timothy and Todd.  Timothy because of its association with Greek mythology and also because of a close friend of mine who was named Timothy and I enjoyed the contraction of the name to the nick name of "Tim."  Todd because it sounded strong and we wanted our baby to be strong and to survive.

The middle names were a cop out in that we wanted to include our parents in the naming; two boy babies, two grandfathers with conventional names, so the baby with the long name got the short grandfathers name and the baby with the short name, got the long grandfathers name.  Pretty scientific weren't we?  We ended up telling the hospital to use Timothy John (my fathers name) and Todd Charles (my wife's fathers name.)  A naming oddity of sorts is that both babies names ended up being the same length of thirteen characters.

Timothy got to come home from intensive care first after two weeks and Todd got to come home after four weeks in intensive care.  We were elated and grateful for having two now healthy babies and for having really good health insurance as having two babies in intensive care for two and four weeks ran up a really stiff hospital bill.  Then we had to buy for two babies instead of one.  

We hadn't finished saying hello to Timothy and then thirty one and one half years later we had to say goodbye.

Tim died of AIDS related complexes (ARC) succumbing to multiple brain tumors.  Yes, even a college graduate, a person graduated with honors, can make a poor life decision.  Sometimes matters of the heart trump matters of the brain.  Don't ask me why, just trust and believe me when I share this with you, that even the smartest of persons can still be infected with HIV in a moment of passion.  The consequence is presently irreversible.

Alzheimer's is often described as the disease with a "long" goodbye. AIDS is similar in that when you first discover you are infected to the time of your demise, may be several months or several years if you are lucky.  There are even a few rare cases of infected people surviving ten years and more.  In the interim period of time there are lots of goodbyes.

Tim survived about three years after discovering his infection.  By the time he was tested, he was already diagnosed as having AIDS.  (The difference between being HIV positive and AIDS, is a white blood cell count below 200.)

At the time of his infection discovery, he was happily partnered up with a super nice guy.  They were building a life together and they were very happy and they were in love and they felt immune from HIV since they were monogamous.

Historically, one of them or both were already infected prior to committing to a monogamous relationship.  The rest is history.  Tim's partner Greg died of AIDS related complexes first and then Tim died a year plus a few months after that.  

I never discovered who infected who or how my son became infected. It was none of my business and wouldn't have changed anything or the outcome.  The sad result is that two intelligent college graduates gambled with their own life using risky behavior and lost.

Saying goodbye to any child is never easy.  Having several years to say goodbye is embedded with hopes and thoughts of a breakthrough cure being invented or discovered and then the reality and finality of the end.

Tim's family and his friends are still feeling the positive impact his life and death had on us.

His life was a positive influence because we could always depend on him.  He was an extraordinary person as; a friend, a brother and a son.

His death was a positive influence because we remember the brave and valiant course he chose to both fight his HIV infection and how he choose to cope with it.  He never asked, "Why me?"  His only focus was to stay ahead of the HIV infection, making the most out of life with little thought of whether his life was going to end or not.  The last three months were his best, making it look to his family as if he was going to survive forever.

In one of our many father and son discussions during the period he was fighting his infection, his often stated wish was "to be remembered."  This web page is dedicated to the remembrance of my son Tim.

His twin brother Todd has remembered him by naming his first born son after him.  We now have a Jaysen Timothy Huffman (8/2/96) in our family who I can share stories with about his Uncle Tim, every chance I get. 

His sister Cindy has lots of fond and cute stories she can tell you about Tim.  Tim's youngest sister Christa, did her Master's Project on AIDS with her presentations featuring her brother Tim and his life.  She still refers to her web page on this project as she continues to share what an impact Tim's life and death had on our family.

Yes Tim, you are constantly being remembered.

Tim accomplished a lot in his life time.  He went to all of the same pre college schools his twin brother and two sisters went to: Latimer Elementary, Castro Junior High (now Moreland Middle School), and Prospect High.  All in our neighborhood of West San Jose, California.

Tim then went on to graduate from the University of California at Santa Barbara.  He was frequently on the honor roll and got his BS in four years.  He was always very focused and always aggressive in maintaining his GPA at or near a B+ level being on the Dean's list several times over the four years of attending UCSB. 

In his last year at UCSB, he dated a girl named Wendy.  She was his last dalliance before acknowledging he was gay.  Wendy and Tim remained friends even after acknowledging his sexual preference.  Tim left Santa Barbara after graduating and Wendy went on to marry someone else and is raising a family of her own, now.

A funny story about Tim after his first year away from home because of college.  We were having a father son talk and after a while, he looked at me in reflection and said, "Dad, I can't believe how much you have changed since I left home."  I had to laugh out loud and I continue to treasure that moment.  Of course at 19 he was the one that changed, morphing into his adult role and ready to take on life.

One can't write about Tim without mentioning his recreation passions: Bowling and Motorcycling.  He was a frequent bowler and it was not unusual for him to bowl in the very high 200s.  Motorcycling was a convenience and something he really enjoyed doing.  He also had a motorcycle during one year of college as well as a nearly new Honda Hurricane, a Motorcycle he took great joy in telling everybody about what a GREAT deal he got on it.

Tim moved back home after college but was soon out on his own with his very own apartment and a real job.  His initial vocation choice was to be a teacher.  He had an offer to go to work as a teacher for 19K a year or to go to work for Integratel for 29K a year.  He choose the later pursuing programming instead of teaching English.

Eventually, he went to work for Intel where he continued to do financial programming and was awarded several times for his excellence in implementing the programs and projects assigned to him.  He continued to work at Intel until his HIV infection became health compromising AIDS, forcing him to give his full attention to fighting the HIV infection.  He was on disability for about two years before multiple cancerous brain tumors formed and turned him into a vegetable, terminating his final bout with the HIV disease.

Tim's friends and family were with him to the very end.  His memorial service was held at a chapel in downtown Campbell, California.  This service was a "standing room" only event.  Tim's short but quality life, had touched a lot of people.

 So Timothy John Huffman, using your own favorite saying, "Ta Ta for now."

If you wish to visit Tim's interment to remember and talk to him; simply go to Los Gatos Memorial Park.  When you get there, park your car in front of the first building you come to and then walk to the left and between the main building and the building to it's left.  Tim is located in the Tranquility Wall Memorial on Toyon Drive.